Most parents would not consciously encourage their child's misbehavior. However, involuntarily all of us parents make some mistakes in raising our little ones. So, Doing any of the following can encourage our child's misbehavior, without even realizing it. What we need to keep in mind as parents is that children learn mostly from us to behave badly, as they learn and behave properly.
How can we encourage our children to misbehave?
*We are not consistent
We say no to this extra chocolate. The child begins to cry and whine. Finally we let him eat this extra chocolate. Somehow we give our little one the clear message that if he grumbles or insists on something, we will give it to him. The,whatever we tell him, if our actions prove otherwise, it does not make any sense.
*We do not apply what we say
Είναι σημαντικό να προειδοποιούμε το παιδί ότι θα υπάρξουν concequenses if he misbehaves (e.g. you will not watch TV for two days, if you hit his brother) and not to threaten it with harsh punishments (e.g. we will never go to the park again, if you hit your brother). It is also important to then apply the punishment for which we have warned the child. Otherwise the child will continue to misbehave, believing that in the end there will be no consequences.
*We justify the wrong behavior
He is tired. It is still small. He is hungry. For sure, children can not always be wonderful, as after all no man can. Children are sometimes hungry and tired and angry, especially when they are young and do not yet have the ability to express their feelings. Even older school children have their bad times. But if we find excuses for the child all the time, then… «Houston, we have a problem".
We may think that the voices make it more likely that the child will hear us, but this is not really the case, since not only is it a temporary one (and not very effective) solution, but also in the long run but it can damage our relationship. So we try despite our irritability, to talk to the child in a nice but strict way.
*We show that we are having fun
Yes, can be adorable when our little one jumps up and down on the kitchen chair while singing his favorite song or eating pasta with his hands. However, if at that moment we laugh, we will pass on the message to the child that this is an acceptable behavior and somehow we will give him a good motivation to continue it. After all, children tend to continue the behavior they think their parents like, as this is how they feel accepted.