Often, when our children are called to spend their adolescence, we also have our own personal problems and so our patience is tested, our understanding reaches our limits and everything,whatever we do seems to have no effect other than falling into the void. But what our child needs is to support it, put aside our frustration and anger and show that we understand what is going on, to reassure him - telling him so do we, like many others, we have found ourselves in his place.
But we should not exaggerate in trying to be liked. After all, what a teenager wants most is to look as little as possible to his parents.
What we also need to understand is that the teenager is no longer our baby or toddler and we can not know everything about him and that we can not ask and mix, but we need to be discreet and respect his privacy, his space, his friendships, his loves, his concerns, his interests.
Of course we can not tolerate everything. It is advisable to set limits and rules and explain to teens that we want them to respect us as we respect them.. It is good to avoid long sermons, exaggerations and demonizations and to express our objections, where necessary, clearly and calmly and inform about the dangers (e.g. sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancy, school bullying, video game addiction, risks on the Internet) seriously and without exaggeration.
It is true that we can not know everything about the life of our teenage child, but we can not let silence be imposed on us as a law. It is advisable to say our opinion on everything,what goes beyond the limits (e.g. a glaring appearance) and try to spend some hours together as a family (e.g. at the family table). In addition, for practical matters, like what time it will turn, where it will be if it is late at night, we are entitled to have an answer.